副总裁


　　Vice-president
　　
　　A man who had just been promoted to vice-president boasted so much about it to his wife that she finally retorted, “Vice-presidents are a dozen a dime. Why, in the supermarket they even have a vice-president in charge of prunes.”
　　Furious, the husband phoned the supermarket in the expectation of refuting his wife. He asked to speak to the vice-president in charge of prunes.
　　“Which kind?” was the reply. “Fresh or dried?”
　　
　　释文
　　
　　刚被提升为副总裁的丈夫向妻子大吹大擂，妻子终于反驳道：“副总裁一毛钱买一打。你看超级市场里甚至有一名负责李子的副总裁呢。”
　　恼怒的丈夫立即给超级市场打电话，准备驳斥妻子。他要求与负责李子的副总裁通话。
　　“管哪方面的？”对方答道。“鲜货还是干货？”

人尽其才


　　A little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand.
　　
　　一天，一个小男孩匆匆忙忙地走进了一家杂货店，手里拿着一张清单。
　　
　　"Hello, Mr. Smith," He said. "I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 32 cents."
　　
　　“史密斯先生，你好，”他说道，“三毛二分钱一磅的咖啡，请给我十三磅。”
　　
　　"Very good," said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.
　　
　　“好的，”杂货店老板马上把这笔生意记了下来。
　　
　　"Anything else, Charlie?"
　　
　　“还要别的什么不，查理？”
　　
　　"Yes. Twenty-seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents."
　　
　　“要的。再要二十七磅糖，九分钱一磅的。”
　　
　　"The loaf, eh? And what else?
　　
　　“面包要不要？还要什么？”
　　
　　"Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 20 cents."
　　
　　“七磅半咸肉，二毛钱一磅的。”
　　
　　"That will be a good brand. Go on."
　　
　　“这肉是名牌子呢。还有呢？”
　　
　　"Five pounds of tea at 90 cents; eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint; two eight-pound hams at 21 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts at 24 cents a jar."
　　
　　“九毛钱一磅的茶叶，给我五磅；八分钱一品脱的糖浆要十一夸脱半；二毛一分钱一磅的大火腿要二只，二毛四分钱一罐的腌核桃要五打。”
　　
　　The grocer made out the bill.
　　
　　杂货店老板把帐单算了出来。
　　
　　"It‘s a big order," he said. "Did your mother tell you to pay for it?"
　　
　　“你买了很多东西，”他说，“你妈妈叫你现在把钱付清吗？”
　　
　　"My mother," said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, "has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic lesson and I had to get it done somehow."
　　
　　小男孩一面把那清楚准确的帐单放进口袋一面说，“这和我妈没关系，这是我自己的算术作业，我总得想办法把它做出来！